Hilarious - but where to begin

A text at about 2:30pm........"Are you out on the town tonight? " Yvonne

Odd, I thought, but replied in the negative.

"Would you like to go out for dinner?"

All sorts of strange thoughts coursed through my confused brain. Yvonne was in Perth, how could we go out to dinner........we're 600kms apart.

Still, this required a positive approach and of course my answer was, "Yes, are you here?"

"No, but on my way."

I couldn't believe it, my friend, Yvonne was coming all the way from Perth to see me and would be here in time for dinner. Wow, Unbelievable!

At 7 o'clock on the dot, Yvonne and surprise, surprise, her delightful daughter, Stephanie visiting from the food capital of Australia, Melbourne, arrived on my doorstep to take me to dinner. How exciting and I was going to get to show them Kalgoorlie by night.

It is cold now in Kalgoorlie, around 4C min, which makes for chilly nights. Where could I take them for a delicious, warming evening meal. I mean they had just driven just over 6 hours to get here.

We drove along the main street looking at suitable venues. Hm...should it be The Palace, of which I have already written, or perhaps the Kalgoorlie Hotel, commonly known as "Judds". We decided on the latter as I hadn't eaten there so it would be new for me too.

Disappointment greeted us as half way up the stairs we saw the sign, "PRIVATE FUNCTION", the restaurant was closed for a 21st.

Still we had our alternative, so armed with my recommendation, that the food was acceptable at The Palace , we found ourselves once more ascending a staircase only to be met with the same sign, "PRIVATE FUNCTION". Another 21st!

Who would believe it, two of the largest venues in town closed to visitors for dinner because of birthday parties.

Feeling more than a tad embarrassed now, I pointed to the rather imposing building on the opposite side of the road. The Exchange, has a restaurant.

So we headed across the road to end up in, Paddy's Ale House. A local girl band had just begun their first set. It was strangely comforting the loud, familiar tones enveloping us as we ordered our meals. Looking at the menu and our surroundings we decided that fine dining was probably not what we were about to experience. And for once we got it right.

It was NOT fine dining, in fact it would be hard to find a worse fish dish if we'd tried. We all tasted Steph's steamed, whatever and giggled whilst at the same time pulling faces. The potato mash, what can I say, was it really made of potatoes or is there some substitute of which I have no knowledge. Yvonne said her Char chicken was tender at least, and my dish well, it was ....... edible.

We then endeavoured to find somewhere to have a coffee. The Dome was closed, the remaining pubs did not appear to be likely caffeine venues. So back to the hotel where Yvonne and Steph were staying.

The small bar area in the hotel was filled with a party of happy after dinner drinkers. The three of us perched on bar stools and enquired if we could possibly have coffees. The young, rather cute barman, (that fact was pointed out to Yvonne, by a rather inebriated lady who semi accosted her), was all too happy to make us coffees, but appeared a little nonplussed when Stephie, bless her, asked him for a hot chocolate. With a bit of a mutter the barman disappeared only to reappear a minute or so later carrying a large tin.

In order of serving; Steph's hot chocolate only filled 3/4 of the cup; mine was a warmed, watery milk, completely coffee less. I think he forgot to put it in. Yet another round of giggles ensued. Yvonne, obviously the favoured one of our party told us it was one of the best coffees she' d tasted.

We left the bar in hysterics.....the Saturday evening had been an experience I feel only Kalgoorlie could have given us. One not easily forgotten and sure to be remembered with laughter for many years.